Sooooooooooo
This is what I'm going to say. If anyone reading this has any questions about things that I'm not going to clarify online, please contact me directly. Do not leave yourself open to speculation or play guessing games. I'm getting very frustrated with the things that people are saying. And please, do not blow this out of proportion. I'm not in the greatest state as of lately and if you have negative or less-than-positive comments or remarks or anything, please, keep it to yourself. If you have valid questions or concerns about things, please contact me and I will answer anything. But don't take half-facts and unsure information and judge this situation on that. God is the only one with the power to judge.
I am doing everything I can in my power to protect my children but let me tell you, it is very difficult to do when they have been ripped from your custody.
It breaks my heart to talk to Marilyn when she is begging and begging and crying to come home. It breaks my heart to listen to Mallory in the background and not be able to actually interact with her.It breaks my heart to have such a nice visit with them and then be subject to other people's schedules and have that visit end abruptly. This whole situation is breaking my heart. I just want my babies back.
I am a great mother. I'm not always perfect, but everything I do is for the benefit of my children. I trust my instincts about things and it has never done me wrong before.
The things that I have been told have put thoughts into my head that were never there before. I would never ever ever ever wish these thoughts upon anyone else. And you really can't imagine to have this lingering doubt about things. There is nothing that is as unsettling.
Today I sold hundreds of dollars worth of books for $45 cash. That's all I have. Even when I do get my children back (and that is all that matters) I won't be able to spoil them the way that I would like. Nothing will make up for the separation anxiety and the stress that they are enduring through right now. Time will eventually bridge and hopefully fix their sense of safety and security that has been destroyed by this whole situation. God is watching over them and keeping them safe.
So think what you may, but I know how I feel.
2 comments:
I feel absolutely horrible for you. I read your blogs, and know all too well what a "visit" is like and the room you talk about. I have a 6 year old, 2 year old, and 1 year old I'm going through the same thing with but for different reasons (different false allegations). PLEASE do me a favor and look up Family Advocacy Movement, and email Melanie, her email address is esoterikgirl@gmail.com She will help you get through this and give you a lot of facts that will be helpful, and more support mentally than you could imagine. I hope this helps.
Michelle - of course you are a greaat mother and I don't think anyone thinks you are not. But sometimes things happen in life that we can't believe with happen as you well know right now. Sometimes people that we love and trust always aren't the people we think they are. Unfortunately now a days people are guilty before they are innocent. You need to think of it as your girls right now are safe. The truth will come out it in end so don't worry about that. Look how many times a crazy person kills a bunch of innocent people. Their friends and family had no idea that they were capable of it so everyone was shocked. Same thing here. Not that anyone is guilty but you just never know.
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