I don’t feel overly inspired to write but I really should. I
get these ideas for blogs and then something else will happen and the blog that
I have already half written just gets thrown to the side burner and my thoughts
on the whole topic of whatever I was writing about completely change.
So I suppose I might as well incorporate some of what I was
previously unposting about.
Recently I had someone seriously look at me and tell me how
good it was to see ME again. I realize I have been perhaps a bit wilder than
usual of late and I finally feel like I am coming much closer to my true
center. It’s been awhile. I spent a lot of time deliberating and trying to
figure out what was going on and what I should do and someone more or less said
that I was just on the extreme of the pendulum swinging and I had worked so
hard to get through everything over the past year and a half that it was only
natural for me to just kind of let it all out. So I did. Haven’t done that in a
long time.
Lots of lessons learned. That’s for sure.
But I feel I am on my way back, I have to be on my way back,
as much as I like to just let loose on my responsibilities, ultimately it is a delicate
balance to maintain everything that I have going, and if I don’t keep my shit
together, who else is going to step in and do it for me?
(Pause for dramatic effect)
That’s right. No one.
And indeed there is a lot going on. Marilyn starts
kindergarten on Friday! Friday!!! The fruit of my womb is not only about to
turn 5 years old (OMG 5 years!!!). I had to pull out seriously scary Mommy voice
just now because I’m trying to get them in bed at a reasonable time because
like an idiot (why did I do this to myself?) I signed her up for morning
kindergarten which means I have to have her down to the bus stop by 8:30. It
has been a long while since I’ve had such early morning time obligations and I’ve
been terrible and I let my children stay up so late so that we can all sleep in
super late. But it is exciting and everything is coming to a head. I’m a PTA
mom! Mal isn’t going to be in preschool for a little bit but it will be nice to
hang out with just her!
I’ve picked up a bit on my school stuff and I’m excited
because I have a new independent study, an internship and I’m just plugging
along with the classes that I’ve been taking. I got a bit lazy about the last
class I took and that was a rude awakening, any sort of intellectual
stimulation is always appreciated. I think I have been lackadaisical about
so many things over the past few months because I just have had the opportunity
to do so. That being said, I’m going to go at a bit slower pace but I know what
I am capable of and I know what I have accomplished and I don’t really want to
slow down or else I might slow to a stop or a very slow crawl. I think it will
be a good opportunity to also focus on other things within my life, and I
always have something or another to focus on.
Random thoughts:
Chinese food tastes much better with MSG but it is nice to
not have the after effects of the food. But I’m willing to sacrifice tingly
skin for amazing wonton soup. *sigh*
Why are there so many things that I can completely visualize
and dream up in my mind that just fail to exist in real life? Am I that much of
a creative thinker?
I love eggrolls.
I'm going to write more tomorrow after I rest and dream and compose
coherent sentences in my mind. I really wish my phone would stop blowing
up with notifications for Marilyn's games. I have to take my childrens shoe shopping tomorrow, which
will be fun and exciting, I’m sure. I’m kind of planning their birthday party.
Kind of. I got my sewing workspace up and running again, I successfully created
a dress and I have quite a few other projects I am working on. Maybe I’m just
really tired right now, but I feel so disorganized lately. I can’t believe she
starts kindergarten on Friday, I really thought I had more time. No, I haven’t
gone school shopping at all, I’m sure we already have a majority of what she
needs, I just have to assemble it. I don’t even know where I put her school supply
list….. It will all fall together because that is how I do.
It’s always a scramble but the symphony is seamless.
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