The Awakening

I feel like something magical has been happening to me and I've been a little hesitant to write about it.

But I'm going to.

This all should be a little bit more documented for me aside from my ramblings.

I have felt like a crazy woman lately, but not because I think I am truly going crazy, but because I'm finally feeling so good about things that I'm able to go to the next level. I've been struggling, I don't know how to explain these things and I'm a bit worried that if/when I do, people will then think I'm crazy. But this is my new reality. My friends have called it My Awakening, and yes, they are right.

And, as is with everything else that happens to me in my life, it's all happening rather fast and I'm letting it all go and trying to keep up the best I can and I am open to it all.

I am happy. I am making good decisions. I am healthy.

This is what this feels like.

And in fact, things perhaps are going so well, that after years and years of suppression, other things are coming up and bubbling out and letting the universe know that indeed I am ready.

So the Universe has responded accordingly.

We are never given anything that we cannot handle, when we cannot handle it.

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but sometimes somethings are gifts.

I am a positive person by nature and a productive and busy and hardworking one, and I have been making my way through the tsunami that can be life. I've been growing. And I'm not done, oh no no no, by no means am I anywhere near done.

But I like this level a lot better than the last.

This chapter is sweeter, kinder, filled with more sunshine and happiness...and only  because I'm finally able to acknowledge and attract and let it all in.

I have fallen into many good people. I have discovered many new things, about the world, about myself, about everything.

But most importantly, about love.

I love love.

Lovers only loving cause they love to.

Right?

So that being said, I've learned how to listen to my heart, listen to my intuition, and the path I am being guided down is wonderful, albeit at times a little overwhelming. As with anything that is gifted or bestowed upon us, we have free will always, and I am freely choosing to let all of this light into my life, because I'm benefitting and thriving and I would like to think that it is all good. The world is taking care of me and all of the goodness I put out there does come back. It's funny too, how much all of the dots connect. And I love unconditionally without expectation, always. I expect nothing. When the world is ready, when I am ready, it will be as it should be.

I was getting a bit down and droopy and maybe that was the beginning of this re birthing process that I somehow have encountered (and am willingly working through), I'm sure things will make sense someday when I look back upon all of it. I believe the last time I wrote I was getting to that point. All that was had to become rot so that I could bloom again.

And I think this bloom is much brighter, and more beautiful.

I'm happy and finding it and open to it.

Only because I've let everything else go and I'm making decisions guided by my heart, not my head.

And for now the storms have passed it seems (unless I am speaking too soon). I have found that I am capable of anything I put my mind too, that I need supportive loving people who will always be there, but I also need those who will light the fire underneath me and keep me moving and only and always in love. I am only human myself, and susceptible to many pitfalls, one of those being my stubbornness (who would have thought?) and I can't expect automatic perfection, I always have to be willing to work for change, and ready to move with it when it comes. I am learning. I can walk on fire and make it through unharmed. Whether I am thrown into it unwillingly, I create the fire, or I find a fire, I know that I will not be burnt, so long as I keep moving forward and have faith.

I have followed a path that is presenting itself to me, and I am told I am talented in many aspects that I never thought of or considered and the more open I am, the more it affects me. Energy work is something something but it is lighting up my life in ways I never previously imagined (because I never ever ever thought about this stuff and I'm not actively seeking it out, it is just falling into my lap and my consciousness and my impulses are unexplainable).

I haven't just become happy, it's been a process, I've been acclimating myself to such things. One cannot look at the sun immediately upon exiting a dark chamber in which they have been within without damage done, it is an acclimation process before one can appreciate the rays of life and walk with the warmth of the rays. I'm ready to sun walk.

Life is beautiful and I love it.

I'm awake.

What will the world present to me next?