Do not judge lest ye be judged

Recently I have reintroduced myself back to the world of Social Networking, namely Facebook. I took a hiatus awhile ago with hopes that it would help me to balance out and clear my mind, and also because I wasn't really feeling an overwhelming amount of love or friendship from the world in particular.

And in a time of great change and upheaval, which has essentially been the last year of my life, I didn't feel the need to post about every little detail online.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I occasionally would go online to creep or troll, see pictures of all the babies that I knew of that had been born or scope out people I haven't chatted with in awhile. I collected pictures of my friend’s wedding so I could make her a nice thoughtful video with all of the files I still had for her 1 year wedding anniversary. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately and it is a little overwhelming sometimes because it is filled with people from my life that I haven’t seen in a long long time. Of friends and people from elementary school. Old relationships that at some point in my timeline had significance to me. Maybe subconsciously there are still things I need to deal with and let go.

But it doesn’t make me feel good to go online. People’s posts don’t make me revel in their happiness. Sometimes. Some people. Some things. But mostly not.

I feel friendless and inadequate. Like I’ve never been good enough for friends or a ‘clique’ or people who knew my birthday without it being plastered online

I feel angry at people who are overly judgmental and I want to say shitty things to them to put them in their place. Forget passive-aggressive, I want to be straight up mean.

Fuck them and their childless existences and their opinions that people who have children are merely ‘breeders’. They are doing the world a favor by not procreating themselves. Thank you for that.

There’s so much pettiness and people flaunt it, they are so blatant with their sarcasm and acting like they are better than everyone else.

For the record, I don’t. I know I’m not better than anyone else. I have a unique experience and I work hard to be a good person and install those qualities in my beloved children. But I’m not perfect. I’m not any better than anyone else. And they aren’t any better than me. We are all different and I don’t know how people are so delusional to think that there is a sliding scale or a rating system of how people should be.

The general rule of thumb a lot of people try to go by I just try not to be an Asshole.

I would say my personal belief system entails a lot more thought and effort than simply that.

Tricky feelings come up and the best way to handle them is by dealing with them, acknowledging them, seeing you can pull out the rooted issue, and moving on.

Weeds always seem to grow back.

The mind must be a well cultivated weeded flower bed.