The Grass Is Always Greener

Lesson: The Grass Is Always Greener

Task: Repeat this Mantra to myself over and over and over and over
Until I see the inherent blessings right.in.front.of.me

Rinse. Repeat.

What is now is only a product of what was
If I have ended up in hot water, where was I responsible for putting on the burner, for turning the heat up? Did I do my job effectively or did I fail? When the room is too hot to breathe, is it my doing or someone else's. Was there a point when we could have cooled it down? Yes? No? Maybe. Who knows.

But it is what it is

You don't really know a person until the pressure is on. You don't really know yourself until you know what the worst you are capable of.

I never advertised this life as an easy one. I don't know how to be easy. I know how to be abundant. I know how to be like a lemon.

I ain't no lemon squeezy.

I have this effect on every.single.man.who.loves.me.even.just.a.little

and really, with any partner, it is like you choose which grab bag of bullshit you're going to deal with
over and over and over and over

because people don't change; they transform with pressure and time

like crystals. like diamonds. like coal

and I'm not a bag of roses either. Can't forget that point.

I'm not no spring chicken

I know what I deserve though and I know what I get

and I don't suppose we always get what we deserve
but I deserve this bunch of shit
If it is what I'm getting with all of my hard work the so be it
I deserve it

Only God loves me enough. Only God loves me more. Only God's love is perfect and infallible.

This human stuff is not.