Mallory threw up the other day at daycare and was running a slight temperature so she had to stay home today. Holly was able to stay with the girls all day so we got to hang out all morning. It was nice. I had to go out for a little while and Holly and the girls played in the sprinkler. Marilyn really likes going and playing outside (especially in the sprinkler) and throughout the rest of the day she kept trying to sneak back outside.
We had another meeting with the new caseworker to go over our revised caseplan. This time everything was much more accurate and much less objectionable. The original had a lot of things that I guess were straight out of the case report and were written by the last caseworker, who has proven time and time again how she's a liar, dishonest, a fabricator, and an exagerator. This time around all of the wording and things that I had issues with in the first case plan were fixed so I wasn't objectionable to it at all.
Phrasing is everything. If I learned anything from college it is how to read and analyze and deduct ungiven information from one or two sentences (see I knew that English degree would be useful sometime!) I've had to analyze so much literature that does this on purpose that I have been able to apply these skills to other types of documents, particularly these case plans.
But the meeting went well, this new woman seems much more decent than some of the people we have dealt with in the past. By the end of this week I'm sure we'll be hearing from the B Children's Home regarding counseling services for the girls. They have been doing quite well so far since they have been home, there haven't been any behavioral issues or anything. Marilyn got a bit salty today when the caseworker was there. I also had to put in her time out twice for different things, but that's pretty normal considering she is almost 4 years old and will get away with anything she can. She colored on the bedroom wall and then I caught her coloring on my dad's recliner chair. That was fun. The other time she kept jumping all over the chair and it kept rocking back and forth and then she wasn't listening and then she went to just go outside because she felt like it (even after I had told her no).
Kids will be kids though. It's my job to set healthy boundaries and to be the boss. (And to make sure that she knows that I'm the boss and not her even though I will take her thought into consideration).
Another big mystery is how my other sister's beta fish got out of the tank. I noticed it was missing earlier today but then Holly found the fish on the floor. I don't know what happened. The dogs could have jumped up and knocked it out (the water level is pretty high) or Marilyn could have done something (I am doubtful though because I think it happened last night) or it might have even have jumped out (I don't know about those betas). In any case, it is the mystery of the dead fish which I am not going to try to cover up and buy a new fish or lie about. We really don't know what happened and oh well. It wasn't like the fish owner has been around to even pretend like she cares about the fish.
But so far today was a good day. I'm having a lot of other issues and I just feel like the rest of my life is falling apart. My relationship has and I will always have hope but I honestly don't know where things will go from here. Change is inevitable but I know what my priorities are and I know what I need to do to be responsible and I know how much I can reasonably handle. I'm not going to settle for less or for anything that isn't up to my minimal standards, and I really don't ask for much. I also learned today how quickly Cox communications will shut off your internet if you get 2 months behind. They don't mess around. Thank goodness it got turned back on immediately after I made the payment, but I never thought I was going to have to deal with this kind of nonsense again. I don't like being poor. After my last bout of it I have been so good with my money and I am good with my money but this whole situation has just wiped out everything that I had. But I need to count my blessings and I have a pending interview (I hope they call tomorrow for sure) and another work-at-home thing that I'm going to be starting soon ($13.50 an hour to evaluate search results) and 3 part time positions that I have regular hours (atleast with 2 of them) and I get regular paychecks from. I can't complain. It just sucks because until I bounce back from this financial fiasco I am so flat broke it isn't even funny. And on top of that I now have credit card bills again. I've been trying to build up my credit so that I can buy a house next year and I have been paying the credit cards off and very sparingly using them. I hate that I'm going to have to pay on them and pay on them and pay on them. And now I have to pay the car insurance too. They really don't tell you how fun it can be to be a grown up.
I'm also so upset at how this has ripped apart my family. My girls love their father, Mallory likes him more than she likes me. She's always been a daddy's girl. Marilyn asks about Mark every single day and she even cries for him at night sometimes. Despite our issues, our family was firm and we did wonderfully in supporting our little girls with love and caring and a wholesome family environment. I don't know how long it is going to be before they can even come back home and stay just with me, let alone when they will be able to see their father again. He and I aren't on very good communication wavelengths at this time so I really don't know how he's feeling about it, except that he's very angry about everything and that he misses them like crazy. I don't know if our family will ever be the same or whole again. That was a big thing we were giving to our girls and now they have just taken it away like it was nothing. Just because it is so common for so many other people.
But I'm still trying to be positive about things. Holly is able to watch the girls from now on and we can take them places so we should have more fun this summer. I've been dying to get them signed up for the summer reading program and we already have 2 hours of reading in over the last 2 days. I can sleep in a little bit more tomorrow (until 8:30) because Holly can now take the girls to school and pick them up, so they won't have to go for the full day. So there are a lot of good things. I'm with my girls and cherishing every second of it and they are doing very well and are happy, I love hearing them laugh and smile and giving them kisses and just holding them. It's all of the little things that I missed too.
Also, I need to watch what I say because God is doing something crazy. The whole month prior to this mess I had so many little things going on that I kept saying, "If it isn't a bunch of little things, it's one big thing". I got my big thing so I don't really notice the little things. I told Marilyn about all of the bugs at the house and that's why she can't come home just yet, and wouldn't you know, I get home last night and within 5 minutes I see not just one but 2 house centipedes! The big one wouldn't die either, it took me 3 times of hitting it with a shoe. I haven't seen anymore since, but I have NEVER seen a centipede in the house, I know they live in the basement under the washing machine, but that's the basement and different rules apply. But in my house, never before and just so because they are scary and creepy looking. I found a picture of the big one that wouldn't die so that you can understand my terror.
So that's all. I'm looking forward to this long weekend and I believe it will be spent at my father's trailer at the campground. A mini vacation if you will.
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