Tomorrow

I am hoping that tomorrow will be a wonderful day. If everything goes well I'm hoping that I will get a phone call in the morning knowing that we will get the girls into custody with my father.

This is what I'm praying for.

I have been keeping myself quite occupied working and babysitting and researching and cleaning and watching my baby sister graduate from high school. I wrote a 7 page research paper on John Elkington. This weekend has flown by.

I don't think I will ever let my babies out of my sight ever again.

I'm worried about how they will be. Over the phone Marilyn has been saying some things that aren't her usual self. I know this has impacted her greatly. She's too bright to think that there's nothing going on. But she's not an angry or mean sort of child, I'm worried that this will have created something in her that was not there before. Anger and insecurity. I think that Mallory will be clingy but I do not know how this will impact her.

I can't wait to cover them with kisses and hold them and hold them and hold them. I truly enjoy my children and I thank God every single night for blessing me with them to take care of. They are a gift and I have always felt this, moreso now that I have to work and I have structured time away from them. I wish I didn't have to take them back to school and that I could just stay with them.

I don't want to say that I have gotten used to them being gone, I definitely haven't. But it is a completely different kind of life when you don't have your children. How so?
I have 2 baskets of laundry to wash over the span of 2 weeks.
With children? 9 loads of laundry a week. (If I'm lucky...)

The messiest person in my house is me.

I barely have any dirty dishes (because I don't really ever cook).

So pray pray pray pray that tomorrow things will go accordingly and that I will be reunited with my children. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world and I'm just so worried about things. But I have faith that we will get through this.

What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

Why am I being built so strong anyhow? What is in store for me?