I thought today was going to be a happy day. I was led to believe that today was going to be a happy day.
However, because paperwork was not done properly and all of the needed signatures were not obtained, there is now a delay and hopefully things will continue to progress.
And my girls are still not with family.
I'm most upset because I called this issue out and it was discussed and we were told that the circumstances would not be an issue. I'm only hoping that it will not be an issue, but in the meantime, either they (meaning the caseworkers and whatnot) will go over this and decide it is a viable option, or they will decide it is not. In any case, a family member's poor decision making is now the issue because of the criminal background. It does not seem that she has anywhere else to go and live in the meantime, but options are being explored. I pray that this matter will sort itself out, but this delay is nothing but completely frustrating for everyone involved.
I'm not totally heartbroken, but I was waiting on pins and needles all day at work, thinking every time the phone rang that it would be good news. I'm devastated.
At this point, they have had my babies for 2 full weeks. 14 days of agony. Each day is a struggle, but it's getting somewhat more bearable.
I do get to talk to the girls on the phone and they sounded good today. Me and Marilyn sang songs about ice pops. She still wants to come home and she says some silly things. At this point even the foster mother can say how Marilyn lies as well because over the phone she started crying and she told me that the lady kicked her. The woman took the phone and clarified to me that Marilyn was walking around in her daughter's shoes and fell and that she did not kick her. I know how Marilyn does and I believe that the foster mother did not kick her. It's almost funny thinking about it now. I'm sure that they are in good hands and being taken care of. When she isn't sad or asking to come home, I do hear them playing and they do things.
I just want my babies home with me.
Is it going to be hard getting re-used to having my children around after not being around them so much? I miss the whining and the fighting and the constant messes. I even miss Mallory and her kicky legs at bedtime. If she wasn't tired she would kick me, and when I pushed her legs away, she would turn ad kick Marilyn. They are worth every ounce of work I do so that I can give us a better life both now and in the future.
Now's my time to work I suppose. I just need to get ahead and get caught up and take this time for what I can. Get ahead with my schoolwork. Get ahead with my classwork. Organize my house like it has never been done ever.
So keep on praying. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but it has to be better than today. Right?
I wish it didn't hurt my heart so much
2 comments:
Please don't take offense, as I honestly mean none. I feel you deserve them back, but do you ever worry the courts will have an issue if they ever find out about the co sleeping thing? Unless he's never in the bed too? I'm just curious because it's not the most conventional sleeping habit. Good luck though. I hope everything works out. You seem like a good mother who's trying to better herself by going to school so her babies can have a nice life. You also seem like you try to instill good values in them.
Every family has "co slept" at some point! My 6 year old daughter, who was ripped away from me, just like this poor woman's kids were from her, still tells me "I miss coming and getting into bed with you in the middle of the night". What mother wouldn't want to cuddle with their babies? And when they are ripped away from you, it is something you miss SO much. I am soooooooo sorry Michelle for the hell you are going through. It is just horrible. And I can relate on so many levels, I really hope I can get your email address somehow and communicate, because it's a pain nobody should go through alone. There are SO many other people feeling it and we all need to come together to make changes so they can't keep doing this to innocent families.
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