Worn out and scared

So since I last posted things have not gotten better. On the contrary, they have gotten worse.

The counselor I was paying (out of pocket) to see Marilyn deducted that
1. It is immoral for any man in a relationship to view pornography
2. It is abusive for parents (especially fathers) to bathe with their young children (under 18 months) and it is considering exposing yourself to your child.
3. 3 year olds know what they are talking about. She had a conversation with Marilyn and Marilyn indicated to her that daddy touched her "down there" (by pointing, after they had a good touch bad touch conversation). This past weekend Marilyn was talking about the conversation and she said that Daddy touching HER FEET was a bad touch. :(

I'm so scared. And I'm really getting a lot of pressure to just submit to this amended complaint where admit that Marilyn has sexualized behaviors and that I've done nothing about them. Because if I take this to trial in two months, and I lose, not only will they keep the charges of child abuse on our records, but it will be extremely difficult for Mark to ever see the girls, and on top of that they will keep them in their custody and probably down the road try to adopt them out or something. I don't know, the possibilities at this point are endless.

I would like to think that fighting for the right thing would prevail over all of this bullshit. There's nothing wrong with my child at all. All of the people controlling this bullshit don't even HAVE children or specialized educations to deal with children. They bring their own opinions to the table.

I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy. Is there something that I'm not seeing in all of this? Is there some glaring red tape that I'm just blind to? If so, please tell me because I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

I have so much to lose, and I've already lost so much. I'm trying to stay busy, stay optimistic, think positively, but frankly there isn't anything positive right now.

I have a meeting for tomorrow with the attorneys. I feel a lot of pressure from them and it's more and more difficult as time keeps going on to stay strong and keep fighting. They want to talk about my long-term interests with all of this. That is pretty difficult to do considering I can't even plan for next week, things are so fluid.

Thoughts or opinions or anything is appreciated at this point.