Don't you think that perhaps you might have better things to do right now?
Like study?
You know what I'm talking about. That is the whole purpose of this blog. To remind you why you are doing all of this and also what you should be doing now.
Which is studying.
This is the reason, Michelle. You cannot half-ass this.
I don't want to hear the excuses. I really don't. I know, I know, you already have so many reasons, but I know you (because I am) and you slack. Major slacker procrastinor half-asser ever in existence. And most of the time, less than everything amount of effort is doable. But it is not enough this time.
There are some things you know you must give 100% to. Your children, for example. And now you know you must give full effort towards your personal goals and pursuits as well. Your career and education.
You have no other distractions. Do not let yourself be swayed from your path. Unless your path takes you in a different direction than anticipated. Always be willing to grow and change and do what fulfills you in life.
Remember also, young lady, that there are things you have learned about men and lessons of the heart and you need to wait until you find someone who is truly wonderful with and for you. With chemistry and compatability and communication skills. You go ahead, revise your Man List again, do what you need to do, but do not settle and do not waste your time with men that you are not interested in.
You do not have the time to waste.
Aside from that remember, this is your personal decision. You are doing what you feel is the most wise decision in order to achieve goals you feel compelled towards and passionate about. No one is forcing you to do this. No one put this idea into your head.
You are doing what makes you happy, in a sense of accomplishment and world-betterment.
This is altruistic. You see what you have to do and you are going to do it. You know what you feel about this. What is the alternative? To settle with what you have become so far, which is not quite what you want to remain. This is a dynamic and wonderful changing of self into a more knowledgeable, professional and accomplished person in advancement for a cause you believe in passionately. Sometimes you will wonder, why DIDN'T anyone put such wonderful ideas into your head, because it will be such a wonderful and satisfactory choice of life pursuits and careers. Everything you have built up is just the foundation of a strong and mighty fortress that will someday be, piece by piece, they are colliding into your tangled womanly being. Blossoming boldly and bright.
Keep up the good work.
But in the meantime, you really should be studying. Remember how this is going to work? Hard work and dedication. At least 75% effort.
I can't even write a blog without trying to bargain with myself that I won't half-ass it.
And get off of YouTube. Watching videos is not going to fill your brain with relevant knowledge.
But I already know how to think!
Yes darling, but now you will have to learn new ways of thinking, even if you feel that you think just fine already (and you do, but there are other ways of thinking to perhaps explore, who knows? Perhaps you will find a new, more comfortable way of being?)
You told yourself 1-2 hours a night for the next 30 days.
You can do this!
Set your countdown alarm for 1 hour and 30 minutes right after you get the childrens into bed and sit at the table, NOT your desk (this is also why you are essentially forbidden from studying on this test on the computer. You will use books and print outs and learn how to focus for hours on these ridiculous questions in the format of which you will be tested. You may also break it up throughout the day and keep track. Even though you hate keeping track of anything at all, please do not completely and utterly disregard this advice from the current you to the future you. I know that you will want to, shrug it off and figure that you will be fine. Don't.
It might be like working out, where at first you are sluggish to do it at times and then you start and you get going and if you force yourself, even though you really really really want to stop, and push through the discomfort, eventually you fill find peace and room to grow in knowledge. Open up your brain and let it all in.
You don't have much time.
Remember Michelle, you set this goal for yourself. You crazy goal setting woman you. Way to stick to your guns. Persistence is key.
And now your children are doing something other than going to sleep, and you should be studying (or at least that is the current scenario), you know how it works. Either put them to bed or work in conjunction with them.
STUDY YOU!
And yes, maybe this all is a little bit crazy in a weird way to force you more into a state of workaholism, however, you need to step it up, this is the time for your to work. Live your life while you're living, however, work hard now to reap the benefits later (and sooner).
Get off of Facebook, jot down the notes for whatever blog it is this time that you want to write
Remember what happened last time you half-assed it? You got all confident and cocky about your score and it was not quite what you were expecting. It probably had nothing at all to do with your lackadaisical (but very often and lengthy) studying of the incorrect sections of the test, time-consuming but failed romantical endeavor, or lackluster attitude abut your abilities combined with poor studying habits.
*Sigh
Get to it.
Look around your house, is it really cleaner than it was before? Don't you even dare use that excuse.
This is just the beginning. This is just the beginning of really kicking it into gear. This is what you want. You are making this decision. You are informed of what it will entail. You hear negative things. You feel you will prevail.
So do it.
You have done it before. Under different circumstances but you prevailed. And look how far you have come. Not so bad.
Right?
This time will be different. You know that. It's fine. And it is fine. I am excited for the competition. The push and the drive to do my best.
I need all of the support I can get in this endeavor, and all of the encouragement to not only work, but to work harder.
But also you, be humble. You are not super special. Do not feel entitled. Chosen, yes, you have your reasoning, but you must work hard and prove yourself just as much as anyone else would need to. Because you have to. You are not perfect and recognize both your strengths and your weaknesses accordingly and effectively use techniques in order to optimize your preferences and learning styles.
What happened to those superior multi-tasking abilities?
Work it. Excel in what you do. Show the world how brightly you can burn.
But always be careful to not burn out.
You knew it was never going to get any easier. So step up.
You are going to have to be a responsible adult for a long time. Did you really think you had it all figured out by twenty-four? Ha! Life is a learning opportunity, so be like a sponge and soak it all in.
Remember also, that your passport will be coming after all of this. You can go somewhere on vacation. On a real vacation. Somewhere with sunshine and lots of comfortable furniture to lounge upon.
It is all worth it. Enjoy it. Bask in it. And always be willing to let your mind expand. Be willing to learn and adapt. Evolve and chameleonize.
and seriously, get back to studying. no more excuses or dawdling.
Slacker.
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