Man List 3.0

The Man List 3.0

This has been a long time in the making. I have been contemplating and cooking up many of the primary ideas within my mind for a while now. Obviously the other two lists have done little for me aside from creating a baseline for rejection and for reeling in major criticisms. I have experienced life a bit more, thought about what is truly important, and hopefully cultivated it within a nice list that makes much more sense than the first two. I love my lists.

1.      He must have an amazing sense of humor. He must be able to laugh not only at the world but also at himself, at the ridiculous situations that occur within life, and if he can make me laugh it is all the more appreciated.

2.      He must be musically inclined. This is what I mean, he must like music, be able to play music, or have a very strong appreciation for music. I’m not particular. Men are amazing at many things; especially music. I don’t care if he can play an instrument, sing, or just has an amazing song collection. I am not particular as to what types of music, I like a little bit of everything. I am a dancer also and that MUST be tolerated.

*It is a deal breaker if you have any John Mayer lyrics in your head, on your iPod, as an alarm or set as your ringtone.
*It is also a deal breaker if you don’t like punk rock. Get out. Seriously.

3.      He must be a liberal thinker. I cannot say that I am only attracted to bleeding heart liberals, such as myself, but I would like for him to be an independent and caring thinker, and for him to realize that there is more to the world than big money, and certain party thoughts. I won’t necessarily say he must be democratic, because I can only influence the political views of myself (and my children) but a man who can think for himself and make educated decisions and form intelligent opinions on meaningful issues, that’s hot.

4.      He must be taller than me. I’m 5 ‘7. I want a man with bigger hands than mine, who isn’t going to accidently try to steal my shoes. Bigger, better, brawnier. I shouldn’t be able to beat you up. It is my purpose in wearing high heels to be intimidating, I don’t want to be able to stare you down.
*The more brawn available, the more likely I will rape you in my car therefore putting my rapist locks to use. Muscles are ALWAYS appreciated.

5.      He must have an appreciation for art. Body art. Tattoo art. Any kind of art.

*It is a deal breaker if you don’t like tattoos.

6.      He must be intelligent. There is a word for extreme attraction to intelligence. I do not remember what that word is, but it totally applies. I need an intellectual man who is capable of thinking through things in a deep and thoughtful manner. 

7.      He must be an honest and open communicator. Communication skills are an essentiality. I need someone who is able to be honest, who appreciates brash and truthful statements, and who is able to articulate his thoughts and feelings into some sort of communicable form. I need someone who is not afraid to tell me the truth, or to hear it. I need someone who can call me out on my nonsense and to tell me what he thinks or feels, regardless of what he anticipates my actions might be. Who does not overreact to things, or twist my words around. He must exercise excellent listening skills as well.

8.      He must be interesting and exciting. I can’t pinpoint exactly what I feel is interesting or not, but I love to learn and to experience new things. He cannot be a wet blanket and must be willing to try new things outside of his comfort zone. I hope he will have some sort of interesting hobby or set of interests or something to talk to me about so that I will want to listen. If he is boring or a wet noodle, I will not be lured in. Although it is wonderful to have someone who always wants to hear everything you have to say, if they are unable to contribute anything of interest to that conversation, it will not last.

9.      He must be a mature and responsible adult. He must be an adult capable of making responsible and thoughtful decisions. I do not want to limit this sort of behavior to a particular age group, however, I have found most younger men incapable of many things and some older men as well. I need a mature man capable of mature feelings who can make responsible decisions and is able to communicate on a mature level.

10.  He must have passion. Passion for something in life. A driving force.  I will be the best cheerleader ever imaginable. I promise.
*Passion for racecars is a dealbreaker.
*Passions for “stupid” hobbies are also a dealbreaker. “Stupid” is subjective.

11.  He must be educated. By educated I mean college. I’m sorry, this is just one of those things. I need someone who understands what a pain the GRE can be, scheduling classes, those bs core requirements. I want someone who can relate to my college experiences. I need someone who will be supportive of me during my on-going college adventures. Educated is not the same as intelligent though and I fully realize that, however, if I am going to be irrationally picky in one particular area this is it. I need an intellectual man to keep up with me, try to understand some of the gobbledegook that goes on in my head, and who can challenge and support me in my educational adventures. And maybe even do my homework for me…
*Poor grammar and spelling is a dealbreaker.
*Having a way with words earns extra bonus points. I’m a sucker for the written language.

12.   He must love animals. I have pets. And children. Children are a lot like animals, in some ways, especially when they are little, until they morph more into proper people. I am not getting rid of my pets and I want a man who can love and take care and truly enjoy all that animals can be. Not that animals aren’t a pain in the neck, ask me for 20 reasons how my life is better after getting a dog, but they are wonderful. I will not get rid of my pets to accommodate a man’s allergies. The majority of them aren’t even my pets either, so if you want to explain to my five-year old daughter why her pet kitten/cat needs to go, good luck: I’ll probably hate you forever too.

13.  He must realize and value family. I am not necessarily looking for someone who has the best family ever in the world, I understand dysfunctionality. I do need someone who can appreciate a family environment and realizes the importance of such things. I get it, not everyone is cut out to be a family-man. That’s fine. I just need someone who is, or is willing to open himself up to that idea and work towards it. I am a mother. I have children. That is my family. I am not a stand-alone woman. I have an unusual set up as far as my life goes, and I need someone who is okay with that and willing to work with that arrangement (which is pretty convenient actually…) but I also need someone who is willing to do things with my children and not only that, but in order to fully be with me, it involves being with my children, and are a lot like me in looks and in personality. You can’t just fall in love with me, you have to fall in love with my children as well. That is the only way it will work. Previously I was resistant to the idea of a man with children, however, my thoughts on such have changed. I would need to fall in love with his child[ren] and vice versa, and our parenting philosophies should closely align. That being said.

14.  He must be willing to see the world outside of traditional “norms”. I want a man who can be either an extremely workaholic, manly man, family provider, who will make enough money that we can afford a housecleaner, a nanny, and a host of other people to make our world keep spinning round OR I want a man who is willing to step outside of the “traditional” role and would be willing to take over more of the domestic duties that occur within the world. I am a career woman and I love to work. I will not ever be a stay-at-home wife and I need a man who is willing to work with that and thrive with it. Ideally I will find a man who wants to pursue his life passion and do whatever it is that makes him happy who is willing to cover all of the responsibilities that occur within a home environment. Whether he doesn’t work at all or works part time, I need someone to cover the other bases for me. He doesn’t have to be an amazing cook or be the cleanest person in the world (actually, if he is too clean or has OCD we are going to have some issues….) but I would thrive in my role as a provider if I had someone else to take care of all of those other things. Nothing is sexier than a man who cleans house and cooks and loves to wash dishes. When you say you love to do those things, it is the equivalent of me telling you how much I love to &#$! !@$*. And who knows? Maybe that is true enthusiasm?

I’d bet on it.

15.  He must not suffer from addictions. This is my nice way of saying please don’t be an alcoholic. I like to drink, and it is okay if you do to. However, there is a line between liking drinking and being an alcoholic. I can tell and I will say if I see it. My life has been plagued by alcoholics and their bad behaviors and the last thing I need is another one. I would appreciate a man who understood my wishes in sometimes, on occasion getting stupid drunk and dancing the night away and I would like a man who would be willing to be my DD instead of lecturing me. I also don’t want anyone who is a drug addict. I think that is fairly self-explanatory. I’d like to avoid porn addictions, gambling addictions, or inappropriate obsessions with women. Thanks.

16.  He must not be creepy. This is subjective.

17.  He must be handsome. I am not going to explain my standards of attractive physical attributes, but I have this weakness for attractive men and I would prefer deliciously handsome arm candy. Also, if I think he is good looking, I will not just want to look at him in the dark.

18.  Please let him have a sense of style. This is also subjective. I get weak in the knees for a nice collared shirt and I don’t even want to tell you what a full suit with a tie does for me. I’m not necessarily looking for a man who is a fancy dresser all of the time, but if he can rock out an attractive looking sweater [vest] or tie every so often, that would be awesome. If he doesn’t always look like he just rolled out of bed, off the back of a train, or out of a garbage can, that would be amazing. If he has sensible enough tastes that he can be my fancy looking vintage manly arm/eye candy date, I will treat him like a king, provided he is a wonderful man. If he doesn’t have his own style, please let him be open and willing to adopt my style ideas. I am also a sucker for stripes, I don’t know what it is.

19.  He must possess abundant manly hair. Picture a lumberjack. Yep. I love man beards, chest hair, and veiny muscular arms. I love to touch it, pet it, and rub my face on it. I can’t help it, I think there is some basic biological function that it speaks to within my genetics but I love it. As far as head hair goes, I know the statistics on male pattern baldness, and lots of bald men are totally sexy. It’s all how you work it and wear it.

20.  He must be technologically savvy. Know how to check his e-mail, download mp3s, not get viruses on my computer, hookup cords, basic stuff is all I am asking.

21.  He is not a criminal. Who has been caught. The jail thing isn’t a turn on for me at all and actually might work against me in the long run. I’m not a criminal or subject to shady criminal dealings. I try.

22.  He is logical and rational and patient and kind and sweet.

23.  He is not judgemental.

24.  He can handle nature.

25.  He will never complain about my cooking or my family. Critical suggestions or helpful feedback, when solicited, is appropriate and oftentimes warranted. Any other complaints are a deal breaker.

26.  He inspires me to be a better person.

27.  He is perceptive and intuitive at times and can handle drama without overreacting.

28.  He never critiques my parenting or acts as the parent to my children. I am the evil step mother and he is the huntsman who works for both teams. They are my children and I have the ultimate say so. They need a strong father figure but they already have a father who takes an active role in their life. They need someone to weather them from the storm essentially. Someone to listen to them and talk to them and do fun things with them, to be their friendly wonderful caregiver.

29.  He is straightforward and honest. Even if he doesn’t want to tell me something because he anticipates a negative reaction, he will still tell me and tell me efficiently and effectively. He will not mislead me on anything. He will never tell me he can or will do something and then renege on that statement later on. He will be straightforward and follow through. This statement also applies elsewhere.

30.  He is self-sufficient and knows how to take care of himself and can take care of others as well.

31.  He will never tell me that I think too much. He will tell me to think more and inspire me to do so. He will push the limits of my imagination and my ability for intellectual capacity. He will be a thinker himself.

32.  He must love love love me. Me for me. All of who I am. Every weird quirk or contradictory part. Good and bad.  I hope that isn’t too much to ask for, but I understand if it is a lot. 

I probably forgot something but I don't even care at this point. Expanded, revised, and refreshed. 

Go.

And for my personal reference: 

Man List 1.0- http://whatbeginswithm.blogspot.com/2012/03/man-list-part-1.html

Man List 2.0- http://whatbeginswithm.blogspot.com/2012/07/man-list-20.html

What Men are Good For: http://whatbeginswithm.blogspot.com/2012/06/what-are-they-good-for-anyhow.html