11 Verses of Expression of Feelings in Words Based Upon My Life Currently

I feel like I’m slipping into a mess again. All day, throughout the day, my thoughts are racing.

Rushing

Wheeling

Twirling

Spinning all around

Like a foggy haze on a rainy day

I don’t know where I’m going

Or what I’m doing

Or how I’m going to get anywhere I need to be

Is this when I stop

I look around?

Why bother even looking around, is there anything to see?

Do I even like where I am?

Do I even know?

I do not know

Where I am

Or how I got here

Is this the same place I call home?

I have felt peaks of happiness without the pits of despair fast approaching

But what is this middle-ness

This mountain range of emotion

It’s a quick climb up and then I persist at various levels of not-quite-piqued

And then I descend back down to my base-est

The valley

And then I quickly float to somewhere in between

All this traveling

Too much traveling

I don’t even know what to think

I think

I’m just

Supposed

To breathe

In

Deep

Exhale

Repeat

I need to stop assuming anything

Trust only in information presented clearly

Shut my mouth

And react carefully

Stop talking so much

And listen more introspectively

Remain guarded but somehow learn to trust

Which is very frightening in its own way

I’ve felt the swift hands of betrayal before

I know the things people are capable of

All too well

But is that fair

A wise way to be?

Yes

And no

I think

What is this magic that happens that makes these things binding?

Do people do such things?

Make promises they keep?

Love unconditionally? Unjudgmentally?  Never-endingly?

I do.

I know that the capacity exists.

I do not know, however, necessarily, how to spot this.

Or is it simply found?

Discovered?

Unearthed in the process of trusting?

This is the Mountain

Of Everything that is Only Absolute Happiness

Where You Can Spend Hours YES Hours

Gazing Into Eyes

Simply Speaking Scleral Sounds
Seeing Only Colors
Sparkling
Shades
Shifting
Seriousness Settling Softly
Sweetness Shimmering

This is the This-Ness that is Everything Wonderful

Always Only Ever Beautiful-Ness

These are the Moments In Which to Bask In

This is the deliciousness life That Is

FulFilling

And this is

Love Love Love

This is the beginning of more to come?

All I can do is be.

The best most loving giving person

She who is Me

Amazingly

Completely

Selflessly

Sweetly

These feeling things are difficult beasts with wings they flitter flatter flutter about and never can be kept appeased, they’re seething through the spaces of the air and the vibrations always shifting sourly bitterly sweetly super superbly richly fantastically. A spectrum of it All most Completely. An experience in Everything.

Love. Let it Go. Just Be. Be You Be Me. Be She. Be. Breathe. Breathe again. Listen. Love. Love. Love it all for the good and because it is good and because it is all good and goodness should and would and does prevail in every single way for every single thing. The energy is higher and lighter and more vibrant to sustain but the world is amazing when you work on it in beautiful ways and fill it with beautiful things. I send love out into the world every single day, for I am provided and kept in return. I am rewarded with Happiness.

I am Happy. Free to be Me.

Things have been so difficult lately. So trying. So frustrating. So Everything that I never Imagined Again Would Ever Possibly Happen Happening and I have To Take Control of The Wheel of This Big Broken Ship and Steer it In Somewhere Safely because I am simply the Problem Solver that is She. Voila there is a smart one. I feel bad I sometimes try to hide or avoid myself from being around it because I can’t handle this all of the time and sometimes it is not bad at all but there is a very fine line of what I feel is tolerable and acceptable. I forget easily but Not That Easily Always. There is a point when enough is enough, I have to be the defender and manage the chaos. Create the chaos? I hope not. Probably. I have to defend that which is proper and correct to do so against illogical thoughts and behaviors. Yeah. Justified.

Happiness though envelopes me. At the end of the day of everything I do, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little; there is always an abundance of Happiness in which I bask. I chose it. I need to let go of anything else that is holding me back from fully Being in It Completely.

I am Only who I feel myself to be. Room for feelings is such a new way to be. Is this what makes life so interesting and exploratory? When everything else simmers down then you are susceptible to feelings and paying attention to such things?

Breathe

Just be.

Stop thinking.

Believe.

Let Happiness Abound.

Let Go of Any Doubts or Fears

Everything is Okay

Keep Seeing Everything Beautiful That You See

Maybe Someday It Will Come True

It’s a Beautiful Scene in Any Case

Simply Believe.