Beautiful People

People are beautiful.

I do not feel that I am ever grateful enough.

Today was another beautiful example of someone reaching out in the world to bestow a fair act of goodness upon me and my flock.

Recently things in my life have gotten extremely more of everything.

More responsibility has been added, as I’m now a legal guardian. This situation has simmered down from its rocky beginning but it was a rough Autumn with her even with all of the other goodness I was encountering. Am encountering. I’m glad to say that things are well on their way to becoming more stable. I still have extra work on my plate.

That being said, more work has fallen away from me unexpectedly and my base income dramatically dropped until (hopefully) May.

Also more is going on in my world than I ever imagined.

This is all more than I ever imagined.

Every day is a step.

I have been loving this warm weather lately, it has sparked me again and it feels nice to feel alive. To breathe. To want to bask in the warmth and the wonderful things that are available at every level.

I need to get back in touch with things.

I did a thorough budget yesterday.

Isn’t it time I finish growing up? I’m doing something that they keep piling on the responsibilities and the help is coming in only in the form of caring strangers. I pour out love and love and love into the Universe and the Universe continues to return. I feel like I am being booned with some of the most serious tasks and as I continue to hurdle through them, for the sake of others (as is more lately the case than not) that in the long run it will be much more worth it and like it is not quite putting out my flame.

I have this beautiful analogy in my mind that I need to just get out in the form of words and as this writing right now is more stream of consciousness than not, I’m going to try to get it out in a way that makes sense.

I am starting to rise. To thrive. To become all that I am able to be inside. I have to help those around me and in that process I was bogged down again but without my help they won’t progress and the more energy I put out there the faster things will move and they will be accomplished properly and in good time. Although this taxes my resources, it is worth it and things have started to get better. I’m feeling more like myself. More inner contentment.

I cannot wait for the spring again. I cannot wait to bask in the goodness it holds, to dip my feet liberally into the water and the streams and the lake and the river. I cannot wait to get lost within the trees, to connect fully with the outside that is so welcoming and inviting. My heart is yearning.

Winter, please finish up. Wash the world clean with your snow. Thank you for today, which is but a peek into what is coming, in abundance, soon.

I cannot wait.

But in the meantime, the world continues to turn. I want to slough off all that I was before, not everything, but I’m ready to shake loose of what has been piling up. I want my life to continue forward, to move on, as we grow.

I want to step forward into a correct direction and I think I’m starting to, I really think it’s all starting to slowly shift.

I though that to myself today. And yesterday. And recently.

Things aren’t so sad. They don’t seem as dismal. And maybe it was the time to be presented with such happiness, at a time when great challenge was about to face me and stifle me and suck my energy out with great need.

I don’t know how bad the past six months really would have been, with my family things and financial things and every thing. I fell back into that rut of a place where I feel like the miserable me that I am within sometimes, the she who can’t stand to be in all of this ness, and thank goodness it wasn’t a long visit and I was quite aware of how long was appropriate to stay, but I realized the importance of morale and this winter I cannot entirely say I have escaped the dreary grasps of the cold and the comfort of the withdrawl internal, but I am glad to see the sun shining.

I did yoga again, I have been slacking quite a quite a bit. Iti s silly, because I know how well it works to get things flowing and get things starting and get things moving. It is always and only what is absolutely best for me and I know this but yet I fall back and back and back into my old human ways. Which is difficult but it isn’t. Why can’t that voice in my head telling me always the right things to do be just a little bit louder just a little bit louder just a lot a bit louder the next time through?

Why not? I wish it would. I wish it could .I bet it can. I would hope so entirely, completely.

I need to start following that voice through and through and through and through.

I think it has always been telling me the right thing to do. And indeed, it has, and the right thing is what I choose more often than not, but today, life is beautiful, people are beautiful, love is beautiful. I feel loved. I am loved. I know that my higher self is shining bright. The Universe is love.