So the meeting went okay.
I don't want to harp on about it too too much, because I spent enough time yesterday during my super extra long jam packed day rehashing over the details.
Essentially it is this
they are a top performing public school and they care about the test scores of their students. My child is under performing to their standards in math and they find this inexcusable. We have to work more on her math skills.
There was my favorite part of the meeting, when they showed me a paper M1 had been working on in class with great concern. They wanted to point out that she has been writing her name backwards. That is what she was choosing to focus on instead of primarily the tasks at hand, which involved cutting up words and pasting them into three sections of the paper (not very exciting task at hand at all and she had already done it correctly).
They complain about her lack of focus and that she is, in ways, more mature than her classmates, as she gets annoyed by their well-meaning, but childish behavior, which M1 clearly construes as blatant rudeness. She is upset with the other children for acting like children.
She spends her time thinking and in her thoughts of creative, wonderment, and reasonable thinking. She is a whimsical thinker who does sometimes seem to have her head in the clouds. This is how she is. When she is focused on something, she is super focused. And if she is not interested, she is willfully protective of her time and will not do something she does not care for. It takes lots of cajoling and negotiation to get her to appease you and meet you halfway on something she doesn't like. She can be cantankerous. It is who she is. It is who she always has been. It is the way that she was made.
But anyhow, the meeting.
They had me look at her school paper on which Marilyn had written her name backwards and mirrored. It was really cool when I took a look at it, like, I've never thought to do that with my own name. I have read about stuff like that too, it's a gift or a cool thing some people can figure out. It shows that they have brains capable of using different parts. Mirror writing. Da Vinci did it with all of his notes and sometimes secret notes or codes are written like that. I don't know where she came up with it, I will have to talk to her soon, maybe in a little bit when I wake her up here for school.
But I told them how neat I thought it was because Wow! Look at how my child can think,
and the Principal cut to the point, you could tell she was totally annoyed with me, and said that it is basically indicative of a lack of academic discipline on M1's behalf and that she has under-grade level test scores and it was really obvious as the meeting continued on what her primary concern was, because she is liable for passing on under achieving students and they have a strict no-fail policy because studies have shown that there are serious liabilities for a student when you hold them back a grade. I think the studies are bullshit, I myself went to an extra grade in school as well as my husband who is a giant music science nerd with a doctorate degree. I know plenty of other people who have gone to an extra grade in school. More school isn't a bad thing, especially if you are slow to learn or take your time. M1 is pokey, another year would do good for her. She thinks so. She doesn't enjoy school when it is too hard, which she feels it is right now. Especially math.
I feel that she has recently gone through a leap in development and she knows she is struggling with math and now we have to make math fun and I don't think it will be impossible, but was a meeting of this caliber necessary? Did this all have to be approached in such a way so that M1 can work with an extra helper at school with Math and studying for it? Why don't they just do these things? They have a ton of support for the literacy development programs, but it is incredibly lacking in mathematical education. She is struggling because she processes math more slowly (because she is incredibly fast in other areas, such as reading and thinking and stuff) and she is not gaining mastery of each subject before she is forced to move onto a new topic. She just needs more time and this is rushing her.
I also mentioned at the meeting that eventually we might be moving and going somewhere else before the end of the school year and after that you could feel the pressure lift from the room. Like the test scores didn't matter because now she wouldn't be so accountable. And then the meeting afterwards went okay. They have a math tutor at school that will work with her and they are moving her back down a reading level and here are some apps that she can play with.
I don't understand why the big hubub about the meeting but I do. Scores.
Trying to hold my unique and amazing child accountable to made up standards comparing her to others instead of looking at her as an individual and working on what she needs to fully understand and comprehend math in the way that her brain in slowly figuring out on it's own. Given time she will figure it out, I know.
And she doesn't need any more stress about anything, she needs love, and gentle guidance and cajoling, and surety and confidence in the abilities in which she excels. She should be encouraged towards working together and communication and in striving towards a goal.
So this morning we chatted about things abit,
and I told her if she can pull off an A on her next 4 big math tests, that she can get a little computer. It is what she really really wants. She doesn't know I have a working desktop PC in the closet I intend to set up for them to use as soon as we have space in a new place either. So whether or not those A's come, a computer for her to type and to use will appear, but she is going to have to work and study and keep motivated and she really really really wants a little laptop computer to use. We will see how long this goes, but I will provide her with extra love and support and gently coax her in the direction of math.
Ugh. But it is not really so bad.
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