Here's to the upswing!

This year is going to be the year of the baby explosions.
That's how it is looking.

Everytime I see a new video or picture posted, I have to fight back this automatic urge I want to post some snarky thing.

But that's not the way to do it.

I'm cancelling my appointment with the specialist for tomorrow. I'm not going to do it.

Right now, I'm too interested in other things. There's too much else going on.

And he doesn't want a baby right now apparently anyway.

I'm not going to fight about it or put any more emphasis or thought into it.

Right now I'm really upset with myself and my body and I'm not treating it like any sacred vessel of anything. I need to quit smoking (again) because that is the comfortable road I end up on whenever I'm stressed.

I'm stressed because it has been a stressful month and that's just how things are.

I've got some time to let this work itself out on its own before I'm drastically older, and maybe the flow of life will make more sense in a few more months. It's going to be really hard again this summer with the husband planning on being gone.

I've had a really difficult time accepting that decision and that this is the planned sequence of events.

And you know what?

Right now, I have this beautiful brand new house available to me.

Amazing things are coming soon. We got a fridge which is going to be delivered tomorrow! The new dryer I picked up on Craigslist yesterday. We also bought a water purification system for the whole house which is something that I know, yes, we overpaid, but 1. I don't have to do the extensive research because I was quite aware of a lot of the information already (RESEARCH THE WATER YOU DRINK BEFORE YOU BLINDLY ACCEPT THAT TAP IS THE BEST). The guy had all the chemicals to show the particles, which was neat, because I do water checks with a particle counter that gives you a digital readout of how many things are floating around. We don't want those things in the water because we are mostly made of water and if possible, wouldn't you want the best water available also?

Anyhow, it happened.

We went out last night, and I noticed, that first of all, aside from here and to those who are prying and definitely in my business, I've been quiet about all of this house stuff. Why not? I'm doing most of the work anyhow and I'm not going to release any pictures until it is beautiful and finished.

right now I'm helping out my mom with some of her class stuff but as soon as I get the chance here in a little while, I"m headed back to the new house and going to get working! Today will be a good nice long work day, and the husband has already agreed to pick up the kids later so I can work through.

Today is wonderful and a blessing.

Life is fortunate and flowing and abundant.

Happiness is here, again, for now.

I'll take it.

Here's to the upswing. 

May it be ever so fast and wonderful, that I won't remember the down