Eight Ball Magic Michelle

Life is leveling me up again. I know it.

I can feel the mania within me, bubbling, getting ready to come to the surface. I don’t know how to keep it down or at bay, I don’t think that is the healthy option, although I know lots of ways that work, they aren’t conductive to a healthy lifestyle.

Besides, this means that somethings are going to change. What? I’m not sure. There are the things I am putting in motion and in place, of course, but what will the Universe hand to me?

It’s been a very busy year for me so far. The past 12 months have brought more change to my life, more knowledge into my life, than any other year before, maybe excluding the year of the Great Takeaway.

I wake up with this jittery nervousness inside. I can’t fix it or quell it or make it go away, it can’t be ignored. When my blood sugar gets low, I shake. I didn’t do this before.

Life is moving along in many other good great ways.

My nonprofit is founded, I have my work ahead of me to build and assemble and to do everything before help comes along, but I have my lifework set up for me now, at 26 years old, and this is something I will continue to build and grow.

My house is coming along. I think today would be a good day to have some art projects to myself, something calming and relaxing that I can get lost within and feel productive and accomplished at its end. I have a chandelier to paint (it doesn’t REALLY need to be painted, but what better way to integrate the available paints and color schemes throughout the rest of the house but on my gorgeous chandelier). I have crystal strands to acquire and assemble to hang (because why would I use fake faceted glass, of course, that came with the gorgeous glittery sparkly thing). I have rooms to organize and rearrange. I have work to do and today is a cold wintery rainy spring day (my favorite almost in a way) and I have the day to myself essentially.

I think I might see if the acupuncturist can fit me in today. This nervousness is from within and earlier this month we adventured into the acupuncturist for treatment, as I am thoroughly fed up with westernized medical healthcare after a brief visit to the emergency room earlier this month, but I have found their techniques to be effective, and in the most basic sense, their needles and methods are the most physical way you can tap into the energy system of the body to release or rebalance energy flows. Energy medicine cannot get that deep in a physical sense. Western medicine hardly recognizes the energy system. Balance of the body and the mind and of the spirit is key, but balance of the body is most essential, and an inbalance of the mind or the spirit will cause more issue with the body than westernized medicine will acknowledge either. Oh wait, they call it psychology. But it is a whole system process.

So anyway, me and husband ventured there and it took away the pain I had in my parts (like immediately) without the use of pain medications that the hospital wanted to give to me.

[Side note, I’m probably one of the few people out there who will go to a hospital, refuse pain medication for my severe pain, refuse to get an IV, and freaks out when they offer me antibiotics for an infection I don’t have, also, I’m irritated that a “girl” would be left to diagnose me as a physician’s assistant and can’t even do it properly- the only person I had anything good to report on was the ultrasound tech who was laid back, down to earth, and open to my questions and showing me the pieces and parts of my uterus to assure me that things seemed to be in working order]

{I went in for severe abdominal pain worried about a tubal rupture or something, turns out I have mega fertile ovaries that are pumping out crazy huge eggs and the rupture that occurs when I ovulate created a lot of fluid within that was irritating me- hence the pain.}

So, after lots of research, we ended up at the lady who pokes you with the acupuncture needles, and not only in she incredibly nice, you feel like she truly cares. And I don’t have to explain anything in the horrible way that you have to in westernizes medicine where you have to tell everybody your problem in detail, over and over, to when you finally get to the actual dr, the one who is ‘supposed’ to solve your problems, you’re just a stressed out ball of nerves who is fed up with sharing personal details to every person you have to share it with.

I think I’ve become a sort of juju witch dr myself. I know abouts the herbs and vitamins supplements for this and that, enough to fiddle with my own dosages for effective results. I’m a fast reader and an avid researcher, so the amount of knowledge I have consumed alone levels me up. Combine that with the practical knowledge and experiences I have already had, and I think I qualify as a naturalistic healer. No health insurance required. Payments made as they can be, or in barter or trade.

It has been quite rewarding, I will say, to see my efforts pan out.

Yesterday I took to visiting a child whom I helped to deliver in September. He is 8 months old now (my favorite baby age) and has a few teeth, can sit up on his own, and best of all, can interact and play. This is a child I helped to be born. I touched his beautiful hair while the rest of him was even still within his mother. He was born to the resonance of OM.

I make a really effective doula.

The couple, casual friends of mine, were already a more enlightened pair, and I had done energy work and massage with the husband, and he encouraged my services to his wife. I then became their doula. I saw her throughout her pregnancy and talked with her about all things pregnancy and baby and what she could expect (mind you, I have over 15 years of combined parenting experience, naturalistic holistic parenting methods, and college education on the matter—I’m a bit more aware of the ways of things) and best of all, I massaged her expanding pregnant body down. All the achy parts of her back and her belly and her legs and her feet, I saw her about once a month and then a few times before she delivered. I cleansed her energy fields and gave her tons and tons of Reiki.

It was not a problematic pregnancy and the delivery was amazing. They contacted me on their way to the hospital, a convenient day I happened to be off of work from too, and I headed in to meet them with a feeling that this baby would be there by 3:40. The mother had set up a water tub labor with the hospital and was actively working with a midwife as she wanted to have a gentle and natural birth. And I helped them do exactly that. I rubbed her body down, helped her sway when contractions came to shimmy that baby down, supported her husband, put the drink straws in both of their mouths so neither would get dehydrated while he had all hands on her and she was in transition to birth, cooled her head with washcloths so she wouldn’t get overheated, and most of all, I maintained the calm. I introduced the OM and as that baby was being born, everyone in the room joined in the resonance. It was not a long labor, it was not stressful, and it was natural, and beautiful, and calm. I also grabbed the camera first while no one was looking or paying attention and I took the first very-cherished after-birth photos of the new baby and the new family, while mom and dad oogled on, not worrying about the technical details that were already covered.

It was a highly satisfying and truly rewarding experience that I am blessed that they were willing to share and have me be a part of.

And yesterday, I got to meet again, this charming, wildly happy child, whose parents are doing everything in the best way that they can, and it is a relief to see.

On other notes, my birthday is this week, happy birthday to me, I doubt many will remember since I’m not on Facebook these days to speculate, but I hardly care what the world thinks or will say and I have removed myself from the drama and upset caused by ridiculous humanly ways. Give me humor, give me enlightenment, give me positivity or room for growth, I can do without all the rest and miss that awful site less and less. My friends who have interest in my friendship, have sought me out in other ways, as I still very much exist, but I’d rather be secluded in my own place.

I figured out I am gluten sensitive or have celiac disease. I have no official diagnosis {such a frustrating thing to try to achieve but again, westernized medicine is USELESS to me in these regards, I tried} and short of paying hundreds of dollars to mail my poop to a dr’s office to have it analyzed, I took matters into my own hands and I’ve eliminated gluten in all and any major forms and guess what? I feel much better, my stomach issues have majorly subsided (except for that awful week after Easter when husband and I caught Ronovirus and had burning stomachs and weakness, such a lovely time).

I’ve also taken proactive measures against inflammation, which I also diagnosed myself with, and the dietary shift I’ve taken, not only against gluten, but against foods that lean the bodily balance towards a more acidic state seems to be working wonderfully. I don’t get “lava body” so much (really at all) anymore, which is a big deal, because in every cycle previously when I had all those little lines and I knew I had conceived, “lava body” a term we coined as it described accurately how my body felt like it was melting from the inside, was a prominent thing and it took me a lot of reading and research before I stumbled across this line in the book The Infertility Cure (and it wasn’t the first go around of reading that I discovered it either), in the chapter about Immunologic Reaction and Recurrent Miscarriage (as I’ve had over four documented chemical pregnancies thus far that continue to occur)

It said this: “around the time of implantation they experience a strange sensation in their uterus {a fluttering, tugging, or burning}, often accompanied by systemic changes like whole-body rashes or hives, a feverish sensation, cold sweats, and the like. [or as we dubbed it, “lava body”] Their symptoms tell me that these women are having a reaction to implantation…”

I can’t recall what bit of information triggered the flow of accurate self diagnosis, but as I followed the chain of information I discovered within my extensive researching and it took me to a path that so far has worked out better than anything else. The dr’s couldn’t explain the reasoning for the chemical pregnancies and just wanted to send me to a specialist, who would have put me through a battery of invasive tests, which are often inconclusive, and there’s nothing wrong with my hormone levels or my physiology or my cycles. They are beautifully on schedule, one dr even remarked. I guess that’s not even very normal in a lot of people.

So I researched and sleuthed and began to take more proactive measures in my own existence and self care. I’ve been on a constant regimen of vitamins that has done WONDERS for my acne issues. (THANK YOU VITEX!!!) and I employed systemic enzyme therapy on myself as well, to help combat the gluten intolerance/possible celiacs and to help my body naturally fix whatever issues might be going on within. I’ve also been very mindful of the teas and supplements and all that jazz.

The cool thing at least though, I thought, about the gluten intolerance is that it is genetically based and it does run through families. My whole life I knew I had inherited the ‘sensitive stomach’ that my mother and my grandmother had. My dad’s stomach isn’t the best either. I’ve shared the information with my mother and my grandmother about the gluten and I think there’s something to it, because they both suffer from a lot of internal inflammation, my mother just recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and my grandmother suffering from a lot of internal joint pain herself. Last order I made for my enzymes I sent my grandma a bottle, I hope it helps her pain.

But the thing I have noticed the most about my self treatment is that it is finally starting to make a bigger difference. The gluten issues can cause a lot of emotional issues and actually can cause a very deep depression that is sustained by the body, because the body is so angry and upset inside due to the inflammation, that naturally, someone will be depressed, because there’s nothing good going on within.

I feel a lot calmer, less explosive and angry (the acupuncture seemed to help with the anger) and definitely a lot less sad. Given, my life has shifted and improved and there is much happiness to be found here, but I have eradicated the cause from inside. It made me sad at first to loose breads and everything I loved, but I love feeling good, and I’m learning how to make the food I want with the ingredients that work best for my body.

I also had a crash course in immunological health. Guess what? You can cause problems in your body’s immune system. How? Well, extreme stress, poor dietary choices, and again, STRESS.

I haven’t really dealt with that at all I suppose.

(^insert sarcasm here)

Another big piece to the puzzle was when my husband finally found out his blood type, which is the exact polar opposite of mine. So even if we did conceive, there is a heightened chance that my body would recognize it as something alien and attack it (da da da da! INFLAMMATION! “LAVA BODY” ANSWERS!)

So, I guess that’s my fractured fairy tale of the journeys and insights into my personal being that have occurred over the last three months. Without the help of any medical dr or establishment.

I am good at problem solving, that I know for sure.

Fo sho.

And am I brave and patient and ready for the next level if I ever get there?

I don’t know,

I think so.

Maybe someday.

Wait and See.