I felt compelled

I felt compelled

When I awoke this morning I felt compelled to sit down and have a write

with all of the updates the computer had to do I think I might have had a faster time with paper and pen
but alas
I have arrived
I don't know how I have so much spark at this time of night considering how tired I was from my day yesterday and overall in general but for real
it's the middle of the night
all is quicet
kind of
there's always something and there are layers of it when the other sounds turn off
my cat is the noisiest child I have at night while the children are actually sleeping
and she doesn't care about making noise to play with foam blacks or scratch open the door to bother me for something while I'm in the bathroom
because I don't get any reprieve and I will likely never use the toilet alone again
In our house the bathroom is a communal place
oi vey
I have the urge to curl up on the couch with my sleeping wonderful so marvelously joyful 5 month baby and binge watch my murder shows while everyone is sleeping because I don't get the chance to watch television during the day
but I felt compelled to write before I did anything
I mademyself do my morning yoga rep.  3 sun salutations every morning upon rising. no matter what time. no matter what.
it does seem to be alleviating some of my physical issues and helping to balance things out again. I don't have so much stiffness or pain and my hips and pelvis haven't been an issue. It has been a minute since I've seen the chiropractor.
This last week was a busy week. It was a weird week. I know I was being tsted week. I don't know how I did overall, but it is some Universal shift and was I able to set healthy boundaries regarding someone else's mental health issues? Were my own struggles more publically revealed in many ways? Is it like a ripping open of a seal where there is a new phase of things to come? I offered everything we have in earnest and I don't feel taken advantage of but I'm peeved at having to clean up the pieces yet again. I have such an understanding of the why's of people and this meta cognitive awareness of how they come about making the decisions they ultimately do....but I am in control of no one. All I can do is offer my help to the best of my ability but there is nothing wrong with maintaing control over a space and nothing wrong with setting or establishing boundaries with other people and nothing wrong with feeling upset when those boundaries are crossed without my consent. I won't outline the precise situation as life is long and why harbor resentments for minor things...let them blow about like sand in a dune. Let them be light.

Let this lightness of being-- of understanding--- allow me to be humble to those I am most closely surrounded with. Let me transform my own self of being to be more gentle with those I handle on the daily.

I am compelled to be good. I am compelled not just to try, but to do. I am compelled to shine.

Let your light be mine. Truly Divine for all time. Let my good intentions shine.