Conflicted

I know I do something in my dreams. I know I go places that are real, were real, energy is a funny thing you see. Our material bodies are forced to the dimensions of this world and can only move forward in time chronologically....

but our spirit energy, our dream energy, we can do and go and see many many things

I don't know why last night was so vivid. I don't think I necessarily got *more* sleep but I wasn't in my *usual* spot and not one of the children was especially leaky so I didn't wake up in someone's pee and that was nice.

My dream was in HER apartment. By HER I mean your wife. Except it wasn't her apartment NOW it was her apartment BEFORE, and in some sphere of it I invaded into your previous love den of existence and I was there and I saw and I felt and you were there too. I kissed you with all the might of a thousand worlds. I miss you. I love you. I've always loved you, I never stopped.

I feel sometimes like in this life I made this mistake, because it gets so terribly hard

I am stupid. Because it was always going to be hard. I didn't know that. How hard depended on what set of factors I chose to deal with from the get go.

All I could do is pick a partner with whom I had passion. Because passion seldom fades while all the rest does. Passion makes small fires great and mighty and can be a detriment to have around volatile situations but passion can create new worlds and islands of being. It's all hw t is channeled--- that's what I have learned

And thusly, I am now awake, and filled with the conflict which is what happens when dream traveling mixes with reality- my motives don't match and here I feel as though I've betrayed my spouse. But I know I haven't. I can't control dream Michelle. She has her own agenda for what she's doing and where she's going.

I don't normally have such vivid dreams and I also don't normally sleep in until 8:30.
But I've dreamt of you plenty before. I wonder if my biggest mistake was letting you go. Sometimes I think so.

This morning I woke up with your music of choice still ringing in my ears. The volume loud, the lyrics clear. The part about being an angel without a halo. It eludes my logical brain now for documented explanation.

Love is something we never stop doing.