First and foremost I want to apologize for the length of time it has taken me to even sit down to write about the happenings of Monday. This is the first time I'm feeling somewhat calm and I needed some time to process what happened and to reflect upon it in a positive way.
It did not end the way that I was hoping. Which is not okay, but it is doable. I knew that there was a slim possibility anyhow. I didn't know, however, that the system is so ridiculously flawed that it essentially didn't matter what we did because the magistrate didn't even listen to the attorney's argument at all. She didn't even look at him.
Allow me to elaborate.
I have fanagled and fought back these past four months and good thing that I did, because a month ago we were still facing sexual abuse charges. They dropped those down to neglect and dependency. I really thought common sense would prevail but it did not. Magistrate H is not capable of using reason or logic and she more or less rubber stamps whatever the prosecutor/Children and Family Services wants to do. That's how it REALLY works. There is no justice or fairness. On top of that she just went off of her notes she had taken from the FIRST hearing, the one from back in May, you know, the one in which the initial caseworker lied lied lied lied lied. Well guess what, those lies popped up again. Whereas I thought this was my opportunity to get my story out, to tell her how things really happened, this was not. The prosecutor's assistant (yes, did I mention the actual prosecutor was out that day because she was sick so we had to deal with her assistant?) was throwing around half-truths and saying things that even CPS knows not to say (such as, the mother did not believe the allegations..... *sigh*) She's really a horrible woman. But no, it wouldn't have made a difference what was done or what was said, the magistrate just does whatever she wants.
So we have been found with neglect and dependency.
However, on the bright side, I did get custody of the girls. Court supervised custody, in which I still have to participate with CPS' services and I have to allow them to pop into my home on surprise visits 2-3 times a month. And if I refuse they can put out a warrant and take my children away from me again. But I have custody. I guess that it is pretty rare that CPS would even change their minds on what they wanted to do. They wanted temporary custody until a few weeks ago when they changed their mind into giving me my girls back. It wasn't so much of a change of mind moreas a correction of all of the fuck-ups that happened within our paperwork which spelled out what seems to be common sense, that I should have the kids. Nevermind that they never should have taken them from me to begin with. I was told that when the magistrate found out that they had changed their mind that she was genuinely surprised. So what do you think she would have done if they had still been going for temporary custody?
Mark did get visitation. He passed his assessment with flying colors and it was as we thought all along, just fine. There are no issues with him whatsoever. Like we KNEW. The assistant prosecutor botched up what the original plans were to be, which was that I or someone else would be able to supervise Mark with the girls. But not now, now we have to go through the domestic violence center's visitation program in which the staff there will monitor Mark's visitation and then the caseworker's through one of their happy little meetings will determine when we do not have to go through that anymore. But soon, he and our girls will be reunited. I know how much they miss him and I know that he has been suffering terribly these past four months.
We go back to court in December.
In the meantime I am pretty limited in my options. I am but I am not. It's just going to take a lot of perseverance on my part. But I have some different things cooking. But that is added onto my already full plate of things to do. But I will continue on. I am not a mean or terrible person, but these people just continue to make my life miserable after they have already ruined it. It is literally a game. And the worst part about it is that I should be happy, because in a ridiculous majority of these cases (oh, you know 70-80%) the father goes to prison and the mother doesn't get custody of the children back. We were on the line there a few times. They don't even need actual evidence or anything, the lies from the caseworker would have been enough to put all of that in action. Only because I fought back so hard did we get the charges reduced from sexual abuse to just neglect. Neglect and dependency are really the most minor things that they could find.
Did I mention what the underlying logic for the entire situation was? We were found with the neglect because when Marilyn STARTED touching herself, around 15 months old, I didn't take my non-verbal infant to a psychologist for the proper treatment and care. That's how Magistrate Hilow determined we were neglectful. The dependency was for Mal, and that is because she relies on us and we just couldn't take care of her because you know, we didn't take Marilyn to psychological counseling before Mallory was even born.
Needless to say I'm still quite upset about the entire situation. It did not go as I was hoping nor how I was thinking it should have gone in the plan b way of things. Instead Plan C was the path traveled. I don't like this Plan C because it isn't fully put together. Right now I have to concentrate on getting back to normal with these kids, or at least as normal as we can be without their father around and having to go down to the domestic violence center to even see him. We have a new house to move into and we have a lot of other things that are coming up that will keep us busy. We need to get back to our busy.
I want to say thank you for everyone's support and well wishes. It does make a difference. I'll need them as I continue on to fight this.
I'm still mad though. Very very very very mad.
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