It is Early October

So this is what really grinds my gears.

I really try. I really really really really really really try. And this is the thing. This is the reality of what I am coming to learn is the reality. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, or how hard I work or really anything. Bad things happen to good people all of the time. Do more bad things just happen to bad people? I don’t know. But what I do know is this: The past six months have been nothing but ridiculous for me. Absolute ridiculousness. I’m not going to make a list, because then I’d really be throwing a pity party. But seriously. And the thing is still, I feel like it is all out of nowhere.

Why me?

Due to the poor judgment of myself (and others) I have found myself to be the victim of theft of possession. After I signed my lease I began moving things into my new house, because as I was very clear with the landlord that it would just be me moving everything and that I needed as much time as possible. In the meantime, there was a man living in the house who helped me on numerous occasions to move my things in. The landlord vouched for him and although the man was obviously a transient, I have always had positive experiences. He assured me that he had nothing but respect for me and my possessions. He moved out just prior to me moving in. The only issue I really had was that he heavily smoked in the house and it wasn’t cleaned when we moved in. Well well well well well. Over the past week during the process of unpacking there are numerous things that I have found to be missing. Unfortunately, the list continues to grow and indeed, our suspicions have been confirmed. Some of the things I noticed right away, such as the other rug for the dining room and my two boxes of brand new dishes. Other things I noticed after a day or two: my new Halloween tealight holder for example. Then today after my landlord told me about his confrontation and that a woman told him she saw him trying to sell some things, more items were brought to mind, such as my video cameras, my digital camera, my dvds and wii games. Yep.

So tomorrow I totally have to deal with that. And that’s now on my list of revolving issues that seem to be on going.

My court stuff is going. They are truly a bunch of crybabies and to be completely honest, I’m so boiling mad about the entire situation still, it isn’t funny. There truly isn’t anything that I can do about it either. The whole process and system is so flawed and crooked and backwards, it is such a shame. Such a shame. I’m completely kicking myself for being so naïve about things. In hindsight, I know that there isn’t anything that I could have done. But I still wish that I had known then what I know now. I don’t like to go on too much about the situation and really I prefer to block it from mind at the moment, but he will be able to see the girls very soon through a supervised vitiation center program. He’ll be able to have supervised phone calls too. So that’s good. But that just breaches on another subject that I don’t want to get into which is how I have to explain things to my children and how wonderful it is answering questions about the new way our family is put together.

And then, and then, today I also found out about some extended family drama and not just with one person. Those things make me sad too. I care about my family. I don’t like to be completely out of the loop.

I also am upset with the squirrels at the new house because they have been picking off my little pumpkins that I’ve been growing and they aren’t yellowed yet and they take little bites and then just throw them. :( My plants didn’t transfer so well either, I’m hoping that they will pep back up soon. The squirrels were also digging up some of the bulbs that I just planted.

But on the other hand, things are going alright. We have been unpacking. I get to design my new kitchen. (However, on the other hand again, the new kitchen is still being put in…slowly…and I STILL do not have a functioning kitchen sink….but when it does work it is beautiful and new and I will have a brand new dishwasher AND a sprayer hose!!!) My new house is nice and really big compared to my last place. The girls’ room will be painted this week. Then my room will be painted. I’m excited.

The girls and I went to the Fall Fest today at Hale Farm and it was a really nice day. It was beautiful fall colors and we listened to the KidSongs version of Ghostbusters over and over and over, that’s Marilyn’s new little obsession. She references everything to the Ghostbusters as well, and although she speaks of the movie often, she doesn’t actually watch it. I’m actually excited to look through the photos I took today, it’s been awhile since I’ve played with my camera. Today I realized that it is a man’s job to document his family, either by photo or video. All of the fathers and grandfathers today had these big fancy cameras. Nice cameras. One or two of the mom’s did too. I know quite a few women photographers myself. But the overwhelmingly large majority of fancier photographers were men.

Mallory is blossoming into quite the little girl. She’s so much saucier than Marilyn, and she’s a repeater. Big time repeater. She’s tougher too and likes to roughhouse more. She even likes sports and running a lot. My little girls.

Once I get the new house together I will have to post some pictures. I’m really pleased with how it is coming along. I still have A LOT of organizing to do, but if I keep up, I’m at a good pace right now. I’m also exhausted and mentally fried at this point and teetering on what feels like the edge of a breakdown. But you know, today was a long day. :)

Tomorrow is always a new day. Always a new day. And every day brings something new. That’s for certain.

As an addendum to this posting, I would like to add that I will be obtaining Internet services around or about Wednesday. Thank goodness already.