And then what?

So not to be a total crybaby, but I wanted to put some follow-up to my blog yesterday. I thought my day was going to get better.

ha ha ha ha ha

When I collected my children yesterday I did get a card which their grandmother was very sweet to do with them. Him? Yep, ignored me even more than usual. Why might that be? Oh I don't know, because without my knowledge or permission or anything else, he took my children to his new home where he lives out in BFE (I don't know the address or anything about anything anymore) and kept them overnight and introduced them to his female roommate (who my children now believe to be his wife) and probably his new girlfriend whom he is "madly in love with" who is not his new roommate from my understanding.

So upon picking my children up all I was told was that they attended a birthday party of some of his friends. That's it.

Upon getting in the car and asking my girls what they did over the weekend did the rest of it pour out. How daddy is the husband at his new house and all about his new cats and all sorts of good stuff.

And let me make this point right away before I even continue. I am not mourning him, HE put me through endless amount of nonsense and he didn't love me at all for a very long time. But the few times we did speak about such things, quite awhile ago, it was discussed that prior to even introducing our children to new significant others that it would be discussed with the other parent. When he mentioned that he had a female roommate there was a conversation that ensued regarding taking my children anywhere NEAR that situation and I said no.

So what he did was sneak my children away to introduce them to his new life.

Now what if something had happened? What if one of the girls had gotten hurt? Mind you, the only contact information I have is for his mother, I don't have his address, his phone number, I don't know where he works, I don't know ANYTHING. What if something had happened to one of my children while with him? He doesn't have their insurance information, he doesn't know anything about their medical health histories and he doesn't even have my number readily available to contact me in case of an emergency. That is issue #1. You don't whisk someone's children off to an unknown environment without telling them anything about it.

Issue #2- What if he had not brought them back? Children are kidnapped all of the time by their parents and I am in no position to go and whisk them back. I don't know where he lives or where he took them. I thought they were with him and his mother at her house, which is fine, that's where I thought they would be. But if he were to take those girls and not return, I would be out of luck. I wouldn't know the first place to look to get them back, and everyone connected to him has cut themselves off from me because I am the ex and no longer worthy of even polite conversation. One major life event and I am put out of a family and friends network faster than you can blink.

Issue #3- Besides the first two issues which are huge enough in and of themselves, the third issue is that this is totally messing with my children. They had no preparation or discussion upon what was going on at their dad's house and how things go. He took them into an environment and now they think he is married and he is the husband. That is really fucking with Marilyn and last night she was crying before bed telling me how much she wished our family could be together and why can't daddy come and live with us and now he is married to someone else. It's bad enough everything else that they went through, and now this.

He also told them that if I get a husband they will come to live with him because I won't want them anymore. What he is trying to do is set up a life to bring them into without me in it. He will probably end up getting his new girlfriend pregnant and just starting a whole new family, even though for years he PROMISED me otherwise. Then my children will have to deal with the fact that daddy doesn't love them as much anymore because he has a new family and a new wife and new children. How dare he tell them such things, because everyone totally knows how I have every intention of dumping my children onto him as soon as I find someone to create a life with. Like my children aren't and always have been a huge part of my life,  I would just slough that off and pass it on to him. That's what he wants. For me to just disappear.

He also has no right introducing any other women or adults into their life without consulting me. I don't know any of these people or what kind of environment he is exposing them to, and he has a bad track record with his associations to begin with. He shouldn't be introducing them to his girlfriend either. She doesn't need to meet my children and they don't need to know that daddy is banging someone else that isn't his "wife" (roommate) either. It might also be a bit confusing to my children that daddy is playing house with another woman and trying to put them into the equation. They are messed up enough that he doesn't live with US, they aren't going to do well thinking that daddy has a new wife and they are going to live with him. And who the hell is this man who refuses to even try to make a relationship work with me (trust me, I tried everything and I was not a terrible or horrible girlfriend at all, he left everyone- except his closest friends- wondering why he wouldn't marry me) but runs off and makes it work with someone else? Nope. This is my life, these are my children and #$&@ you if you won't even make an effort to make it work and then want to take my children and then transplant them into your version of things that work? Not going to happen.

I don't know what I am "supposed" to do in this type of a situation but I am flaming angry for these reasons. You don't just take off with my children, take them to your house which I have already told you I had issues with, introduce them to "your" people, confuse them and tell them horrible lies and then purposefully avoid me and outright refuse to communicate with me.

So perhaps I will have my day in court again, and in the meantime I will enjoy every moment I have with my girls every single weekday and weekend, because until he can communicate and apologize and pay up, he's not going to.