Ok, here goes the modified list. 50 down to 34 and they all have been carefully evaluated and modified appropriately.
And I swear, if one more person asks me how am I still single, I will pull out the crazy M and show them fo sho. It's easier than saying I'm picky, I have standards, I come with baggage and I was not appreciated enough by the men that I did love. Nevermind the fact that the men that I fall in love with aren't quite available and the men that fall for me aren't quite what I want. This dating stuff SUCKS.
So, sucking it all up, recalibrating and putting out the Man List 2.0. Easier than getting another cat.
Here goes.
1. He is taller than me. New minimum is 6 foot 2. Exceptions to this
will only be made if I really really really really really really really like
him. My love of heels and that whole proportion thing. Sorry yo, not backing
down on this one.
2. He is equally or more educated than me. This is an extremely strong preference. I want someone who can relate to my college experiences.
3. He is not creepy. It can never hurt to put this on the list. Creepy men abound.
4. He is a business professional. I am a total and complete sucker for collared shirts and suits and ties. It’s ingrained within my DNA. True story bro.
5. He doesn’t have a lame or stupid hobby. This is subjective again to certain things, but you know, please, just have some sort of a semi-grown up hobby.
6. He must have a job. Technically speaking though, stay at home husband is a full-time job…
7. He is honest. Even if there is something that he doesn’t want to tell me, he will never lie about it. He will never lie to me at all. The only acceptable exception to this is if I am being lied to because I am going to get a super awesome surprise or something. Other lies, not okay.
8. He is straightforward. This also connects to the honesty thing. Even if he doesn’t want to tell me something because he anticipates a negative reaction, he will still tell me and tell me efficiently and effectively. He will not mislead me on anything. He will never tell me he can or will do something and then renege on that statement later on. He will be straightforward and follow through. This statement also applies elsewhere.
9. He is not a criminal. Or ever was. I am not. Then again, it only counts if you get caught.
10. He is a responsible grown adult citizen. He pays his taxes. He responsibly votes. He pays his bills on time. He has morals and follows ethical guidelines for behavior.
11. He is self-sufficient and knows how to take care of himself. He can do his own laundry. He can clean his own home. He can make his own dr’s appointments. He can find a way to feed himself.
12. He is comfortable in a messy environment. I am. That’s how I do. Cleaning is overrated, I will do it when I have to but it is not on the top of my list of priorities. I am not OCD. I value outsourcing and the ability to hire a housemaid.
13. He does not overreact and can handle drama. It happens. I don’t do dramatic men anymore but I can handle my fair share of nonsense.
14. He is logical and rational and patient. More logical than I. Able to point out holes in my logic. Rational and able to strategically plan. Patience is a virtue.
15. He is family oriented. Open to the idea of children. Good at making them is also a plus. Not about to discriminate against me for being a single mother. Willing to meet and hang out with my littles. Do family stuff willingly.
16. He is kind. And wonderful. Kind to me. Kind to my children. Kind to strangers and animals.
17. He is not judgmental. It is not our place to judge.
18. He keeps an open mind and is always willing and ready to try new things. Lots and lots of new things and ideas.
19. He is intelligent and intellectual. Nerds apply here. I am intelligent and intellectual, he should be as well.
20. He possesses superior writing abilities with impeccable grammar and sentence construction. Good spelling ability is also an essentiality. Bad spelling and grammar are my biggest pet peeves. Ever.
21. He is tolerant to the idea of animals. Dog isn’t allowed on the bed anymore. Cat sleeps with the girls. Air purifiers and allergy pills can help those with allergies but the pets aren’t going anywhere.
22. He is fun and can always make me laugh, a lot.
23. He is motivated towards a greater good. Altruism is sexy.
24. He is fit. Muscles are HOT.
25. He doesn’t have any children. I’m enough drama for one baby mama.
26. He can communicate. He can create conversation and respond to it. He will listen to what I have to say and prompt me for information. I should not have to struggle to talk.
27. He is not critically cruel. Constructive criticism is acceptable.
28. He will never complain about my cooking. Ever. To complain about it is to lose it forever.
29. He will never tell me that I think too much. He will tell me to think more and inspire me to do so. He will push the limits of my imagination and my ability for intellectual capacity. He should be a thinker himself.
30. He inspires me to be a better person.
31. He is faithful. Monogamy is cool. So is not catching nasty STIs.
32. He appreciates music. Not about to shut me down while I sing in the car, bonus points if he will sing along with me. He doesn’t have to dance but I love to and if he loves me he will make that happen. Isn’t going to hate on playing instruments either. Bonus points if he plays an instrument and knows more than one song.
2. He is equally or more educated than me. This is an extremely strong preference. I want someone who can relate to my college experiences.
3. He is not creepy. It can never hurt to put this on the list. Creepy men abound.
4. He is a business professional. I am a total and complete sucker for collared shirts and suits and ties. It’s ingrained within my DNA. True story bro.
5. He doesn’t have a lame or stupid hobby. This is subjective again to certain things, but you know, please, just have some sort of a semi-grown up hobby.
6. He must have a job. Technically speaking though, stay at home husband is a full-time job…
7. He is honest. Even if there is something that he doesn’t want to tell me, he will never lie about it. He will never lie to me at all. The only acceptable exception to this is if I am being lied to because I am going to get a super awesome surprise or something. Other lies, not okay.
8. He is straightforward. This also connects to the honesty thing. Even if he doesn’t want to tell me something because he anticipates a negative reaction, he will still tell me and tell me efficiently and effectively. He will not mislead me on anything. He will never tell me he can or will do something and then renege on that statement later on. He will be straightforward and follow through. This statement also applies elsewhere.
9. He is not a criminal. Or ever was. I am not. Then again, it only counts if you get caught.
10. He is a responsible grown adult citizen. He pays his taxes. He responsibly votes. He pays his bills on time. He has morals and follows ethical guidelines for behavior.
11. He is self-sufficient and knows how to take care of himself. He can do his own laundry. He can clean his own home. He can make his own dr’s appointments. He can find a way to feed himself.
12. He is comfortable in a messy environment. I am. That’s how I do. Cleaning is overrated, I will do it when I have to but it is not on the top of my list of priorities. I am not OCD. I value outsourcing and the ability to hire a housemaid.
13. He does not overreact and can handle drama. It happens. I don’t do dramatic men anymore but I can handle my fair share of nonsense.
14. He is logical and rational and patient. More logical than I. Able to point out holes in my logic. Rational and able to strategically plan. Patience is a virtue.
15. He is family oriented. Open to the idea of children. Good at making them is also a plus. Not about to discriminate against me for being a single mother. Willing to meet and hang out with my littles. Do family stuff willingly.
16. He is kind. And wonderful. Kind to me. Kind to my children. Kind to strangers and animals.
17. He is not judgmental. It is not our place to judge.
18. He keeps an open mind and is always willing and ready to try new things. Lots and lots of new things and ideas.
19. He is intelligent and intellectual. Nerds apply here. I am intelligent and intellectual, he should be as well.
20. He possesses superior writing abilities with impeccable grammar and sentence construction. Good spelling ability is also an essentiality. Bad spelling and grammar are my biggest pet peeves. Ever.
21. He is tolerant to the idea of animals. Dog isn’t allowed on the bed anymore. Cat sleeps with the girls. Air purifiers and allergy pills can help those with allergies but the pets aren’t going anywhere.
22. He is fun and can always make me laugh, a lot.
23. He is motivated towards a greater good. Altruism is sexy.
24. He is fit. Muscles are HOT.
25. He doesn’t have any children. I’m enough drama for one baby mama.
26. He can communicate. He can create conversation and respond to it. He will listen to what I have to say and prompt me for information. I should not have to struggle to talk.
27. He is not critically cruel. Constructive criticism is acceptable.
28. He will never complain about my cooking. Ever. To complain about it is to lose it forever.
29. He will never tell me that I think too much. He will tell me to think more and inspire me to do so. He will push the limits of my imagination and my ability for intellectual capacity. He should be a thinker himself.
30. He inspires me to be a better person.
31. He is faithful. Monogamy is cool. So is not catching nasty STIs.
32. He appreciates music. Not about to shut me down while I sing in the car, bonus points if he will sing along with me. He doesn’t have to dance but I love to and if he loves me he will make that happen. Isn’t going to hate on playing instruments either. Bonus points if he plays an instrument and knows more than one song.
33. He is comfortable and I can be myself. I want someone I can mesh with, who gets me. I don’t want to front who I am or what I think or what I do. I don’t want to have to hide myself and I should feel comfortable with him. This also applies physically, it is nice to have someone you can comfortably hold hands with while walking, comfortably make out with, comfortably cuddle with. I am a creature of comfort.
34. He is perceptive and intuitive. He will be able to figure things out without me needing to say anything. I didn't say psychic, I said intuitive. Bonus points if he can figure me out without me having to explain it to him first and he knows exactly what some of my looks mean. If he can read me well that would be awesome.
So that's that. I didn't think I was asking for too much originally but how does this list look now?
Let the games begin.
3 comments:
Alright Miss Thang, I want you to end up with someone amazing therefore I am going devil's advocate on a few of these.... :)
1. He is taller than me.
Ok, since you admit you have wiggle room on this one you should just take it off, it's not a requirement it is a preference and a little shallow, a 5'10 prince charming could sweep you off your feet tomorrow would you really walk away because you look taller when you wear heels? Take it off, or add an icing list (non-negotiables are the cake; preferences are the icing)
4. He is a business professional.
Again this may be a little shallow, what if he is a chikfila manager or a construction supervisor, he could be still be the one. :)
5. He doesn’t have a lame or stupid hobby.
You admit it's subjective I think you have a different need here, this is a maturity issue you don't want a man with an immature video game addiction or who spends a selfish amount of time on his hobby, I think you don't REALLY care what he likes as much as that it is in perspective with the correct priority. So if Mr.Wonderful shows up and his hobby is model trains and you think it's dumb but he keeps it in it's proper place you wouldn't really care.
12. He is comfortable in a messy environment.
(OR he is willing to do housework to his standards?)
20. He possesses superior writing abilities with impeccable grammar and sentence construction.
Do you plan to pen each other daily letters? If not couldn't this be a preference? What if he speaks eloquently but his writing is so-so?
24. He is fit. Muscles are HOT.
Is "hot" as important as healthy? What if he would never pass for a body builder but he keeps active and eats well, these shallow ones can get you in trouble! (Some guys work out and it doesn't realllly show but they could still be cute and attractive) Preference or non-negotiable?
25. He doesn’t have any children. I’m enough drama for one baby mama.
I think this is a great idea BUT you never know, would you do a total brady bunch manuever for the absolute right man?
34. He is perceptive and intuitive. He will be able to figure things out without me needing to say anything. I didn't say psychic, I said intuitive. Bonus points if he can figure me out without me having to explain it to him first and he knows exactly what some of my looks mean. If he can read me well that would be awesome.
Would you like him to have a magic carpet too? :) This one seems a little lazy, you shouldn't expect him to know what you are thinking, now with time this tends to happen anyway, so yes it IS wonderful when men understand you this well (and it can and does happen) but you shouldn't expect it, especially early on (the 1st couple years)
So there some food for thought :)
I don't know you, but you seem like a good person. Something will happen eventually. Probably once you STOP looking! :D
I'm a romantic -- I think he is out there and you completely and utterly deserve this man. I am using the singular because I suspect there is exactly one man that fits this description ;) But honestly, good for you for making a list. And for having the patience to wait for Mr. Just Right!
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