Putting the Ladypants Back On

Today I realized something, I'm really good at what I can do. And I miss it.

It's time to morph into a new/old Michelle.

I'm adaptable and I can morph into whatever life situation I find myself within, and I have a resilient but forgetful memory.

Is it possible that my powers have been growing and steadily increasing as time passes without any consciencious effort made upon them to improve? Do I really have to practice some things or will I retain the skill I have worked up to? I think I'm getting better without having to do anything. I'm not so frustrated by the failed attempts because my ratio at this point is amazing. I haven't cooked cooked a real meal in over two weeks. The last thing I cooked cooked was dip. And guacamole. So when I make something and it turns out amazing, I will credit that to skill, years of practice (of every single day cooking practically) and a renewed feeling of energy. I actually like to cook now. Because it tastes good. (Shocker there I know).

I've been thinking a lot about things lately as well and I have been trying to face and confront a lot of feelings. I hate feelings but I am beginning to realize (and I'm getting much wisdom on the subject) that I need to confront them and be as straightforward as I am with my style of communication. Ugh. That is indeed a challenge that I will work on. At my own pace. Unless they confront me first. Lots and lots of feelings.

When it rains it pours and pours and pours. I don't know if there is something in the water or if it is just a special time of year or something. No idea.

With my head tilted back right now, a little bit, in the dark of the living room, a square of the window is visible and with the tear that is falling out of my eye it looks like thzere is a bear outside of the window.

I have been a spaz lately. Moreso than usual. I'm kind of a wreck sometimes without actually being a wreck. At least that is how I feel.

Still recalibrating and the pendulum hasn't made it back to the middle.

I'm living and letting go.

and themore I think about it....

it's almost about time to put my ladypants back on

except you know I don't wear pants often anymore.