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I should write a blog a day. I should just push the words out of the tips of my fingers and vow, vow for just a little bit out of the day I will write about myself instead of all of the other drivel sometimes I have to create.

In any case, today is Friday.

Friday is a day. I think today will be a good day.

I am doing lots of wedding stuffs today. I need to get this ball rolling again.

I had so much momentum at first, and omgoodness yes, that is because planning a wedding is a Huuuuuuuuuuuuge adventure and from the get-go it has been me planning this whole big party, and I'm crafty and the like so I have been making everything or getting stuff I have to create from, rather than just settle for anything 'traditional' or unasembled. It is really just me I suppose that is making everything more complicated.

But I don't know, I was hoping that this might bring joy and peace to people but it has created a lot of wonderfully fun but defintely extra work for me. It is my wedding. Isn't this what I wanted? Everyone asks.

Let me just say this, I wasn't a little girl who fantasized about her dream wedding for when she grew up. I got to the point where I thought it wasn't going to happen. In this current situation, the only reason it is happening is because I pushed for it to happen and untraditionally asked him. Twice.

Talk about backing someone into the corner.

I suppose I should remind myself sometimes, rather more often than not, that this was rather unexpected to everyone (because you know, so many people know anything about the intricate intimate working details of my life) and that no one shares any of the same creativity or excitement about any of this. Not even him, and he can't help it, because this isn't within his scope of interest.

The plus side to that is that you are able to construct whatever type of wedding that you desire, well you were, until you handed off responsibilities to other people. Since when do you care what people think of your implementations?

Just breathe.

It will all come together. You have already done a large portion of the work, remember? You shipped it off to someone's house so you didn't have to look at it lying around anymore. All of the orders are placed and everything is a-go, you just have to show up at this point. And finish some crafts, some major stuffs, (maybe work on that today and not be an unproductive lazy bum), and who knows what you will accomplish and how good you will feel when it is all done and the energy is flowing in and around and through and you are in a different place and perspective by this evening?

Hmm?

Tell you what you should do, just do it. Just do it. Just do it.